New at your local Wendy's!

 Tired of the same old chili, so packed with beans that it makes you vomit just to look at it? Wish there were more meat to fill you up right? Looking for a reason to file a frivolous lawsuit? Well, you're in luck! Starting next month, Wendy's will be proud to feature Chad's Chumbucket Chili!

 

When you buy chili in the store, it's anyone's guess as to what kind of meat is lurking inside. Pork, poultry and fish products can wind up anywhere, even in your own ass! Here at Chad's Chumbucket Chili, we pride ourselves in using only the freshest ingredients: YOU! Our chili is made from freshly ground people, straight from our manufacturing plant in Fargo, North Dakota. You can always count on us for a great meal that may even be someone you know!

Weren't you always wondering what Billy did after high school? Who cares! At least the bastard tastes great! Remember how he pushed you down and laughed after gym class? Doesn't it make you feel better, now that he's just a dark stain on your toilet paper? So, when ever you feel the need for a chili that's as much fun to eat as it to flip through your old yearbook, try our brand instead. Chad's Chumbucket Chili. Choose it, Chump!