Do you love toast?

Do you love toast? Of course you do. We all love toast. Toast is a wonderful thing and has contributed much to society for many years.

 

People have learned to love toast from infancy. Do you remember being born? The doctor slapped you on the ass with a piece of toast to get you breathing. From then on, you loved toast more than anything. 

 
Obviously, to appreciate toast, we must pay homage to its creator and reason for being: the toaster! 

  

This an example of a classic toaster. It says, "Shove it in me, fucker! I can take double-penetration all day!"

These days, we don't have to settle for such a plain and standard device. We have options that weren't available in decades past. Let's go over just a few of them.

There's rainbow toasters, for those of you who iron your underwear on a daily basis.

 

 
There's the "Hello Kitty" toaster for kids of all ages. This model comes with a free fork to play with inside the toaster while you're waiting for your bread to brown. What fun!

 Then there's this model, for those of you who really love toast. Now, I can hear some of you saying, "but, Chad, what if I'm the type of person who wants my toast to love me back? Why can't I find a toaster that really expresses the mutual love that my toaster and I share?" Well, search no longer, you sick fuck. 

 

Sometimes, two slices of toast just isn't enough. Those of us who wish to double toast production in the same amount of time tend to rely on the standard four-slicer.  

Now, you'd think making four slices would be enough for some people. Well, you'd be wrong. There are those that walk among us who crave toast like no other. They hunger for it with a passion that defies reason. You can often find these people huddled around a conveyor toaster, protecting it like a lion would protect a kill in the wild. Be wary around these types. They will lash out in violence if you venture too close to them while they are making their precious toast. 

  

On the flip side, toast can also be fun and exciting. Those who are inspired by arts and crafts, tend to take their interest directly to the breakfast table.

  
Even the Virgin Mary can be found on toast! More importantly, she can also be found on eBay. Is this worth a couple thousand dollars? You decide:

  
The average person often forgets how popular toast has become. Even television has realized the popularity of it. There's Powdered Toast Man:
 

  
"The Brave Little Toaster":

  
There's even cereal!

  
So, the next time you sneer at the thought of having "plain, dry, boring toast", remember this useful information. You'll be glad you did.