Since the dawn of time, human-kind has splattered their burgers with just about as much crap as possible. Like a Chicago hotdog, people tend to pile on ingredients that just make me nauseous: vegetables.
What the hell? Are you having a burger or a salad? I'm disgusted and offended right now. When I think of a decent burger, only three things come to mind: bun, beef patty and cheese. Now, I'm not opposed, whatsoever, to jazzing up ones tasty treat with alternate toppings. However, I want to express the most important one of all to include:
BACON! Yes, that wonderful meat that creates a mouthful of orgasms with every bite. No burger could be complete without it and today's creation will be no exception. Now, if you're expecting me to just put some slices of bacon on some ordinary burger, you'd be wrong. It's been done.
How about just a shitload of bacon sandwiched together? Yeah, that's nice, but it's not worth writing a blog over. Still got your napkins? Good, you'll need them.
If only you could eat this stuff right out of the package. Seriously, I hate having to wait for it to cook, much less keep myself from burning my fingers while reaching into the pan to grab some while it's simmering away. Let's cook some bacon!
What's this? Bacon in a blender? Why the hell would someone do that? Well, for starters, let me tell you that bacon doesn't blend all that well. Hey, you never know until you try, right? Yeah, I was having real trouble doing it this way. Thankfully, I still had one more option at my disposal.
My Slushie-express was a much better size for dealing with this. It also meant I'd have to clean bits of bacon out of both appliances.
Success! A lovely plateful of pureed bacon! Now, say what you want about what it looks like, this is going to be pureed awesome when we're done. So, what exactly are we making here?
Bacon patties! Oh, hell yes! This was so much better than mere strips. I couldn't wait for it to get
done.
I wasn't exactly sure how well they would cook and they both broke up a little before they were done but it didn't matter.
Two beef patties, two bacon patties and five slices of cheese that melted instantly in this overly-greasy mess.
So, we've got our food all prepared but now we need a proper beverage.
So, we've got our food all prepared but now we need a proper beverage.
Bacon coke? Sounds unhealthy. Oh, wait, it's diet!
Bacon martini?
Bacon products are even available to the modern businessman!
The bacon wallet.
The bacon briefcase.
Wait, I think I'm getting off-track.
No comments:
Post a Comment