Cheeseburger Diaries: The Monster Burger

After my first two tries at creating the ultimate burger, I was doing some heavy thinking on how to top myself. It wasn't going to be easy. The first, with it's dozen patties, was a thing of beauty that will last through the ages. The second, with it's bacony goodness, was more delicious than all the filet mignon, lobster and caviar in the world. Now, it was time to try something different. Got your napkins? Good, you'll need every single one.

 

A single package of ground beef just wasn't going to be enough, this time. What I needed was something of a more insane category.

Oh, hell yes!!! Now we're talking! So, how exactly was I going to cook this much damn ground beef? Hmmm.........

Good, I think we're on the right track.  

Yep, this is looking better and better every second. However, I'm thinking that we're not ready to rock just yet. Let's take this just a little further.

Feel you mouth watering? No? Well, hold on, you'll come around. We're not finished yet.

If you think all that beef came from the grocery store, you'd be wrong. I actually had to slaughter my own cow for this experiment. Poor Bessie.

After spending about an hour in the oven, it was time for the burgers to come out. I managed to set off my smoke alarm a few times in the process, too. I'm sure my downstairs neighbors weren't bothered, as this is a semi-daily occurrence.

  
 Woo-hoo! My kitchen smelled awesome and was thinking about stripping down and taking a bath in all the grease that had collected at the bottom of the pans. Okay, it was time to start assembling this beast.

I broke out the cheese and bacon from the fridge and went to work. I had trouble finding a big enough bun to fit this behemoth so I decided to use focaccia bread instead.

Sometimes, I'm just so damn proud of myself. This, my friends, is more burger than one person can handle and it appeared I was going to need help. Luckily, a few friends were on hand to get this beast taken care of.

 

Csaba was a big help in devouring this monster. In fact, he grabbed it away from me before I could react and attempted to dig in right away. Asshole.

Now, it was time to cut this burger apart and enjoy the yummy goodness. As my taste buds orgasmed multiple times, I figured this might be the last attempt at the ultimate burger, as its awesomeness could hardly be topped.